Presenting

To prepare for my presentation I decided to go over the main points of the chapters, but I was feeling that it was "boring" and the class had already read it. As I continued re-reading chapter 2 of Lightbrown and Spada the ideas resonated with my experiences as a language learner and as a teacher of ESL students. Each section of the chapter brought up more memories and I felt linked to what was being talked about.

I decided to share my L2 experiences (German and Spanish) from childhood through early college. I knew how fearful I was to produce language orally and wondered how that compared to the people in the class. One of the questions put forth at the beginning of the chapter is about how comfortable the student is in a variety of situations. Perfect, I thought. So I jumped into the presentation, sharing my story and asking for the class's input. I appreciated what everyone had to say, I was not alone in my feelings. I also learned that the "fears" I have are not entirely unfounded, that feeling I won't be understood has come up. Yet many of the people in class have tried anyway, and those who are speaking English as an L2 are demonstrating proficiency daily. (I really admire this!) I wish I would've drawn more people into this discussion, I think that there are other experiences that would help me understand what it is like for my students and maybe help me feel more confident in trying out my L2s. I also wish I would have asked people to connect our experiences to the reading, it would have provided a clearer picture of my intent.

What happened? That's a good question. As someone who talks A LOT, I ramble when I get nervous. I walked in thinking I knew what I was going to do and knowing about how much material I had. After 10 years of teaching I was confident I had 30-45 minutes of material, and a good concept of how time was passing. Something went wrong in my wiring. I went through my material, but talked 20 times faster than necessary. I felt I'd been up there for about 20 minutes when Esther told me I had 20 minutes left. I felt absolute panic, I still had my filler material...but had I really only used 10 minutes. I lost all focus. I had no idea what I was going to do. I kept talking off my notes, but I wasn't even thinking about the words coming out of my mouth; I could only focus on the time problem. Then I had 10 minutes left, but I felt only two had gone by. I did the only thing I could think of, I stopped.

What do I wish I had done?
I wish I'd made two lesson plans. One written out completely (which is what I had) and one outline. I would have had an easier time keeping track of my place in my plan without having to re-read every word I'd written. I also could've put the outline on the doc-cam or given a hand out so the class could have a visual reference.
As I mentioned before, I wish I would've drawn more people into the discussion and had them tie the topics to the reading.
I also wish I would've remembered my phone, it has a clock and I would've felt calmer with my own reference point. It would've helped me slow down and pay attention to what I was doing. I wouldn't have talked so fast, or felt so pressed to finish everything in the first 3 minutes.

What am I glad I did?
I'm glad I shared my stories. These are things that pop into my head at various times, but I don't share them. I think that people's experiences are interesting and important. It helps me understand where they are coming from, and in that spirit that's where my stories came from. I'm also happy about how the discussion went. People shared interesting anecdotes that really helped me understand them.

Final thoughts: When it's your turn, relax and enjoy it. We all need to make a presentation and are sympathetic to your situation. We'll welcome what you have to say and help you out as much as possible, after all, we don't want to be left hanging. My own moments of panic have to do mostly with my inability to see a clock, so bring a watch.